The Death Of A Dream

Lately it seems that I have been surrounded by the topic of death.

For me, one single week in the month of June represents a month of loss.The loss of my father on the 22nd and my Granny on the 20th.Then there is the birthday of my favorite person in the world, my Grama. June 21st. Such an important day for me because it represents her. 2015 marks the 13th year since we lost her. But the truth is, it still feels like she was taken away from me yesterday.

Last year, San Diego also lost one of our most influential athletes.

Mr. Tony Gwynn. While I am and always will be a die hard Giants fan, for me, he represented exactly what every professional athlete should be. Mr. Gwynn was a class act. Down to earth and extremely humble.

I have also had close friends suffer great losses here in the last couple of months. So with all of this, I started thinking about how death affects each of us.

What I have discovered is that most of us think about death as the loss of a physical presence. How many of us stop and think about what the “death of a dream” means?

Each major change in life is represented by this death of a dream.

Every breakup. Every financial set back. Every huge mistake that we make.

When you look at it from that perspective, I have run into many dream deaths. But for each of the ones that I have gone through, I have gained so much.

What has been your most recent “death of a dream”?

How did it change or alter your life?

Once removed from the pain, hurt and anger, what positive light was able to shine in?

 “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

Just like the quote says, most of us spend so much time staring at that closed door that we fail to move forward.

This failure causes us to stay stuck in a cycle. A negative cycle that does not do us any kind of justice.What would happen if we were able to look at each “death” as a blessing? How much further would it propel us in our lives?Sure, it is easier said than done. But what happens when the what if becomes a must? When we consciously choose to not allow a set back to stop our momentum. When we choose to use that energy to help us grow?

The answer….A hell of a lot!

I know because I have been there.

After my last break up, once I decided to stop sulking about it I took it all in. I forced myself to fully understand the role I played in the demise of the relationship.

I allowed myself forgiveness and decided to work on me in these areas. Which has got me to the point I am at today.

Making the breakup essentially the factor that  became a catalyst to creating a better me. In hindsight, this break up could potentially be the best thing that has ever happened to me.Through it, I found myself.

The best gift that I could have ever been given.

How much different can tomorrow be if you decided to stop allowing the death of a dream to bring you down? What steps can you take today, to make tomorrow different?

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  1. Nancy

    Your blog posts are so beautiful, real and heart-centered. You’re a great writer! Love this post. I am a little obsessed with the subject myself. Not in a morbid kind of way but I see how after every death there is a birth of something new too. The way I see it, death as not being the end of something but the birth of something. It gives us the opportunity to process and recreate and celebrate other people and ourselves too. Even though we don’t want to experience death for ourselves or anyone we love or are close to, somehow it is an impetus to look at our lives and create ourselves newly. I suppose that is a gift the deceased leave behind for us. It’s a real shame when we don’t take the opportunity.

    • Kai

      Thank you for the great comment!!! I really appreciate your words. I also, love the point you bring up. Death is absolutely the birth of something new. The birth is a new created space that we get to play in–how fun right???? You beautifully point out the gift that they leave us, I must admit that I have never looked at it like that, but I love it. As I sit here on the couch, I am smiling thinking about all the gifts that my Grama left me. What a nice place to be right now!

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